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【People Skills】Learn how to social! Make others like you and build a good relationship with other people, especially with your colleagues!


In modern society, establishing good interpersonal relationships has a great relationship with our quality of life and job opportunities. There are actually many important skills in building a good relationship with others. When we have communication and interpersonal skills, we can not only better communicate and get along with others, but also build a good and reciprocal relationship. And Mr. Carnegie, the master of interpersonal relationship, has some insights on interpersonal skills. These principles and skills are very important and can enable us to interact with others more smoothly.


First Principles and Tips for Building Great Relationships

Do not criticize, blame, and complain about others

Mr. Carnegie believes that behaviors such as criticism, blame and complaining are not very effective. This kind of behavior often triggers negative emotions and bad feelings in people, and it also triggers other people's defense mechanisms. Behaviors such as criticism, blame, and complaints do not actually make others think they are wrong or make others reflect on themselves. Mr. Carnegie found that most of the prisoners in the prison thought that they were not wrong, and even believed that they should not be in prison at all. It can be seen that even if others have been punished, they will only rationalize their own mistakes. Therefore, if we want to build a good relationship, we should try to avoid criticizing, blaming and complaining about others. Because similar behavior will only make others feel defensive towards us. Instead, we should learn to appreciate and affirm the strengths and achievements of others, and give positive feedback.


Second Tips to Make People to Like You:

call someone by their name

Names are very important to all of us, and remembering someone's name is a very important interpersonal skill. At this moment, we may think why we should remember other people's names, and we may even be too lazy to remember so many people's names. The name actually has a special magic power, because the name is our most basic identity, and it is all because of the name that we are different from others. When we call someone by their name, we are forming a relationship with a person. When we remember and address someone by their first name, it is a form of respect and a feeling of being valued. Not only does this help to deepen our connection with others, it also makes us more gracious and friendly in our interactions.

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Third Tip to Build a good relationship

Meet the needs of others

Meeting someone's needs isn't about meeting what they want, it's about meeting who they want to be. Everyone wants to express their abilities, and self-performance is an innate human need. If we want to establish a good relationship with others, what kind of self they have to perform, arouse the desire in others. Understand the needs and psychological needs of the other person, and look for opportunities to help them realize these needs. At the same time, we all want them to achieve the results we want. Therefore, we must connect the needs of others with our own needs in order to be satisfying to live with us. This will not only increase the goodwill of others towards us, but also establish a relationship of mutual support and cooperation.


Fourth Tip To Socialize With Others

really get to know people

Good interpersonal relationship must be based on mutual understanding. In order to get to know each other better, we should encourage others to talk more about themselves. Sometimes we think about what topics to talk about, and often we come to the conclusion that we are talking about our own affairs, so that only we are talking in a conversation. Of course, to build a relationship, we have to let the other person know us too, but remember to invite the other person to talk and let them know that we are interested in their lives too. By listening to and paying attention to the other person's conversation, we can not only build empathy and empathy, but also gain a deeper understanding of the other person's needs and ideas. But we must remember that we need to maintain an interest in their lives, not to ask for the sake of asking, but to know someone better.

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Building good interpersonal relationships is the pursuit of each of us. By learning and applying interpersonal skills, we can improve our communication and getting along with others and build deep interactive relationships. Not judging, remembering people's names, triggering desires in others, and encouraging others to talk more about themselves are some of the important principles that help us achieve this goal. Let's work on developing our interpersonal skills so we can get along well with others.

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